A daughter's thoughts
by SVUObsessedEandO
Summary: Daniel has been killed in war. This is Lindsay's private thoughts to her daddy afterwards. Companion piece to my story A Real Chance? Completely understandable if you haven't read the story.


_What Lindsay's thoughts were after Daniel is killed in war. It is sad, I promise you._

1 month

I never thought it would hurt this much. I cried the day you died. I wore my uniform from JROTC to your funeral. I cried for many days after that too. But before I knew it, I stopped crying. The pain was still there, but it was as if my body was trying to get me to move on. Every day I learned a new way to get the pain off my mind. I made sure I wouldn't let you down. My grades are great now, and I'm helping kids in my off time. My writing has picked up too; I've got people all over the world reading my work. I hope you're looking down and smiling. I hope you're happy with what I'm doing now.

4 months

I heard a song today, it really reminded me of you, and for the first time in a few months, I cried. My friends says it never gets easier, but you learn to deal with it. I'm starting to. There are days where I'm sitting and relaxing, and I hear this truck and think, "Oh! He's home!" and I have to remind myself that you're not coming home. I see a flag waving in the sky and I can't help but salute it.

6 months

I'm sorry I broke my promise. I got into a fight today. This kid said that the military was worthless. That they all deserve to die. I couldn't let him say that. I never said a word either. I just stood up and broke his nose, and probably a few ribs. He's got a good black eye too. I threw punches just like you taught me. I didn't get in too much trouble. Actually its only because I drew blood that I did. Everybody thanked me for it. I'm sorry I broke that promise, but I couldn't let him say that knowing you died fighting.

1 year

I visited your grave today. I hope you heard me. I had so much to tell you. Nobody ever listened like you did, and that still hasn't changed. I couldn't help but cry as I drove to the cemetery. But I'm fine now. My best friend knew what day it was. He found me and took care of me. Remember how much you liked him? Well we're together now. I t started right before graduation. Oh I wish you could've been there. There were so many people, and one of the girls fell going across stage. That's why I never wore high heels. I'm starting college this fall, and I'm going to be a sign language interpreter. But I'm not giving up on helping animals. You knew how important that was to me. I know now to never give up on my dreams. Life is too short

3years

I'm graduating college this fall! I know you'd be so proud of me. I visit your grave now as often as I can. I don't know if you were watching or not, but he proposed. I'm getting married. Can you believe it? I wish you were here to give me away, but I have somebody in mind. I think my brother will do alright. I've only got another two months before I'm graduated, married and off to start my career. I know mama said thtat sign language would be a waste of time, but you always had my back and I'm glad you did. I helped somebody with it the other day. I helped save a woman's life. Nobody could understand her, and she couldn't talk. Turns out she was starting to miscarry here baby, and I helped save them both! We're good friends now and she's about 5months along. She said she's going to name her partly after me. She's giving her y middle name. Isn't that great?

4years

So you would be a grandpaw now! We welcomed our beautiful baby boy this morning. He looks like you! Has that same green fleck in his brown eyes like you did, and he even has our family brown and red hair! I can see you now smiling. I'm so happy with my son and husband. I just wish I could share it with you. He will know about his hero of a grandfather. He will be proud of you like I am. He has your name too. He'll be proud of that middle name like I was of mine

10 years

I cried today. My son is six now, and he has your grin. He has the same laugh as you too. I told him he was going to have a little sister (surprise!) and he said he'd protect her. He said he'd skin anybody that hurt his baby sister. My little country boy is a trouper. He's a mommy's boy. I cried when I explained to him about how I got his name. He told me not to cry, that grandpaw was watching us and protecting even if her wasn't here. He's so smart for his age. I wish you could meet him, and this little girl that's going to be here in a few months. I bet she's going to be a daddy's girl like I was!

22 years

He's 18 now. And even though he knows you died fighting, he wanted to do the right thing and signed up for the military. I know it's the right thing to do, but I worry about him. He looks up to you, even though he hasn't met you. My daughter is just like me too. She's a daddy's girl and it kills me. My son got into a fight protecting her from a bully. Scolding him was the hardest thing to do with that. I wish you were here. I would love a few pointers here. I know you've looked down a few times and laughed at me. I've laughed at myself. But I know I'm teaching them everything you taught me. I wish I could talk him out of being what you were, but I couldn't be prouder of my son.

44 years

My 60th birthday. I'm old and wrinkly, but I still miss you. I know what you would've felt now. I'm a grandmother of 3! My son has two girls. They are both daddy's girls too. Guess that's a family gene. My daughter had a boy, and is actually pregnant with another one! I'm so proud of the life I'm leaving behind. Their daddy is proud too. We put flowers on your grave for your birthday a couple of months ago. Guess its weird seeing us as an elderly couple? It's ok, I've accepted the white hair and wrinkles.

00—00

Hi daddy! It's been so long since I've been able to see you! It feels good to be wrapped in your arms again. I knew you were looking over us. It may not have been your time, but that's alright now, I get to spend forever with you now. I don't have to cry anymore daddy. I love you!

_What did you think? I've had this piece wrote for a while, just never thought to put it into a companion piece…until now. _


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